Psalm 33

Doors

--// so. i have a really big decision to make in like the next 24 hours or so. and, trust me, it's not an easy one. whether to open a new door and close another, or not go through the new one and be content with the door i've got. thankfully i have some really wise people surrounding me that can give me the pro's and con's of both options, which, actually, only made things more confusing and unclear than before... just praying that the Lord would make it clear what i should do and to give me the faith and courage to follow through in whatever He leads me to.

--// today i got to hang out with my lovely, and newly engaged!, friend debbie! :) we got to catch up and talk, be productive, and take a few photos. so here we sit in starbucks, wedding planning, photo editing, blogging, having a grand ol' time. she's pretty awesome, just saying. such a sweet encouragement and blessing!

--// can you believe tomorrow is friday already? craziness. hope you all have a lovely friday and a lovely weekend!!

love,
emily xx

Kijk 13

--// happy Sunday :) today's sermon was a really good reminder of my need for Christ. it sounds cheesy, but everything at one point in time (pre-sin/in the Garden of Eden) lived and worked together in perfect harmony. all of the animals dwelled together, the plants grew and bore fruit, man walked with God, and so much more. then man disobeyed God, and sin entered the picture. everything became difficult, broken, destroyed. as a result, we have broken relationships that require constant repair, we struggle with sin, we die, there is pain in birth and pain in death, there is violence and destruction, there is utter brokenness. we need the the greatest gift in history to take the place of the greatest tragedy of all time. we need Christ.

--// so, i'm about to be really honest, here goes: i've been in a funk the past couple of days - and by funk (for those of you who are confused) i mean that i feel sad/angry/upset/frustrated/confused/annoyed/foggy/all around blech all at the same time, super fun right? - which usually means that the Lord's teaching me something that i don't want to hear/accept/embrace because i'm stubborn and sinful and ignorant. thankfully i was a little more open to figuring out what was going on that i could calm down and listen a little sooner this time. i won't go into too much detail, so here's the short list of what i'm learning: contentment in various areas/situations, grace, trust, faithfulness, identity, and humility. there's probably more... but that's all i got so far... *takes a deep breath*

--// last week was crazy busy, both at work and outside of work. i'm hoping that this week is a little better, buuuut i'm not so sure it will be any less busy... we'll see.

--// we took roomie pictures last week! they were so fun! these girls are HUGE blessings to me in so many ways, i cannot even tell you. they're always ready to force me to talk to them when they can tell something's up, they have nice shoulders to cry on, and they are all unique women of God and beautiful inside and out! basically, they're all kinds of awesome and i absolutely love living with them :) here are some of the fun pics Meagan took for us:

 i have no idea what was happening when this pic was taken, but i think all of our expressions are just so random and hilarious! haha

love these girls.
it's a new week, and the Lord has some great plans ahead! :)
hope you all have an awesomely blessed week!

love,
emily xx

thanks

so, it might be a little cliche to write a thankfulness post around thanksgiving, but..... i'm gonna write one anyway. :)

spending time at home the past few days has been lovely. got to spend time with family and friends, chop my hair off, walk on the beach, and bake deliciousness. i don't think it could get much better than that. now, it wasn't all rainbows and sunshine, but the large majority of it was great. i'm thankful.

until about the day before thanksgiving, i didn't really think about the fact that this was the first holiday since my Oma passed. which led me to think about how my Opa would be that day. which made me a bit anxious. i've never, and i mean never, seen my Opa get emotional at any point ever in my whole life until that day. i was sitting next to him - which made things worse because i almost lost it, but i held it together - and we went around and said what we were thankful for, and he was last, and quickly passed things over to my dad to pray over the meal. and i held his hand while we prayed. and we went on and had thanksgiving, like normal.

the day after i got to spend with three of my girlfriends from high school, which was awesome! especially since Kati lives in Texas now and we don't get to see her often. anyway, kati, kat, rachel, and i went out to Julian for the afternoon, bought pie, ate food, and took pictures! we literally caught the light at the perfect moment! here are the very first few i got my hands on:

so thankful for this time! back to work tomorrow :)
hope you all have a happy week!!

love,
emily xx

Kijk 12

--// i had a serious case of the mondays today. blech. probably because i was aware of how crazy busy we would be today at the clinic and prematurely anticipating how exhausted i would be right now, which is pretty exhausted.

--// on the upside, i only have work til wednesday. boom. and then i get to go home for 3 days and hang out with the family and play with my sister (whom i haven't seen in a LONG time :) ) and thanksgiving is thursday, annnnnnd i get to see some of my best friends from high school and go line dancing like old times :)

--// i guess this is gonna be a short post and my life must be pretty boring cuz the only other thing that i can think of that will be happening in the near future is cutting about 5-6 inches off of my hair, cuz it's unhealthy...

--// anyway, here are a few more pics from when my little and i hung out on thursday :) :

 isn't she a cutie?!

--// the Lord is definitely teaching me a lot and growing me in so many ways, it's awesome and kinda intense, but sanctification is a wonderful thing, even though it kind hurts when you heart breaks and the Lord stretches you. here are some awesome verses that keep reminding me of who God is and various truths of being a child of the King:

Psalm 139:13-18
For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.

I awake, and I am still with you.

James 1:16-18

Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. 17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. 18 Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.

1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.

there are so many more, but those are a few that are encouraging me lately :) 

hope you all have a lovely and blessed week, as well as a happy thanksgiving! 

love, 

emily xx

kijk 11

--// i'm gonna do my best to get back on track with the weekly photos, so this week's is brought to you by my lovely little sis, meagan :)

--// can we all just pause a second and enjoy the fact that it rained today? just lovely. 

--// i've had 2 full days off this week. woah. it's nice. 

--// i have FILLED my time over the past few days with opportunities to photograph some of my dear and lovely friends - oh, how they indulge me! i was feeling extremely photo-deprived since i had been super busy over the past weeks, so i needed to get back behind the camera. luckily for me, all of my friends are gorgeous and willing subjects! here's proof:

--// i have lots of fun plans this weekend! dinner with coworkers, catching up with two very important bethanys in my life, birthday celebrations, sharing some of what my Oma taught me, church, and i'm sure even more fun stuff will find its way into my plans! somehow i'm always super booked! but i love every minute of it :) the only thing standing between me and all of this fun stuff is one 10-hour work day...

--// my parents will be in the area on Monday, so, while my dad is at a conference for work, i get to have lunch with my momma!! i haven't seen her in a few weeks. i'm stoked.

--// God is kind of rocking my world a little bit. it's not so easy, but it's good and i know brokenness leads to new growth, which gives me joy in the process, knowing that what is ahead will be better and that everything the Lord does is for my good. what a joy to have such a Father looking over me.

--// i don't know if you're supposed to have a favorite book of the Bible, but if you are, mines 1 Peter. it's seriously SO good. this especially stood out to me the other day:

1 Peter 1:13-16
Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober minded, set your hope on fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy."

boom. good stuff, right?!

--// anyways, i'm feeling super blessed. lovin life. having a grand ol' time :) and here's more from today cuz my little is just an awesome photographer and they're all so fun, i have to share a couple more!

i love orange. :) 
hope you all are having an awesome week too!!

love,
emily xx

word vomit.

Oh man. it's been more than a month since my last blog! so much has been going on!! so here's a quick update:

i have turned in some of my grad school apps (yikes!) and majority of the hard work is done there, just have to answer a few more questions and figure a few things out before i send in the rest!!

work is great! we are crazy busy, but i'm still loving it and i love working with patients and i'm learning new things everyday it seems like!

i haven't taken hardly any photos lately :( hoping to change that in the next few days! actually, tomorrow. it's happening. i'm having really bad withdrawals. i'm getting to go through and edit some more pictures from studying abroad, which is fun :) 

God is awesome! we have a membership class for church tomorrow afternoon, which i am stoked for! i am really looking forward to it :)

oh! my friend Jesse is helping me learn Dutch. YES.

ummmm i'm a little tired so that's all i can really think of at the moment.

Psalm 16. it's a good one. you should read it :)

love,
emily xx

ps - sorry for the quick word vomit :P

raging on

meanwhile, in sunny southern California, summer rages on.

seriously?

ITS OCTOBER, DANG IT!!!
all i want is:
cozy sweater weather
pumpkin everything
boots and coffee
cozy nights in, tea in hand
good books
fun projects and crisp air.

is that too much to ask?

i guess so, cause all i have right now is 100 degree heat, shorts and flip flops, sweat, stress and studying.

honestly, i shouldn't be complaining. with only a couple days left of studying, the GRE will be over and done with on thursday (thank the Lord!). after that my main stress will be getting my applications together, which is, although stressful, kind of exciting! and i kind of live in a place that many people wish they lived, so for that, i will stop complaining. cooler weather will come soon enough.

lots of things on my mind these days, but the Lord is good and continually shows me knew things and gives me lots of opportunity to grow.

love,
emily xx

Kijk 10

--// photo this week brought to you by my lovely little, meagan :) we had a big/lil date and she's getting a DSLR so i taught her a few of my favorite tricks.

--// still crazy in love with my red ohmbre hair that my cousin did for me! also definitely feeling the lip stick lately ;)

--// life has been super crazy. i'm trying to give myself time to relax and i'm learning to say no, which my roommates will tell you that i'm still not so good at... its a work in progress...

--// I have found my new fave photo inspiration oasis!! seriously, this site feeds my imagination and quenches all desires for a lovely photo or an eloquent phrase. AND there are Bible verses. need i say more? Its a tumblr called Modern Hepburn and here are a few of my recent faves:

One, Two, Three

--// am i right, or am i right? 

--// despite being crazy exhausted, i'm still feeling extremely blessed in so many ways! God is good and i couldn't ask for more! 

--// love that hymn, don't you? 

love, 

emily xx

salt water

Yesterday was beautiful, but hard.
And emotionally draining.

As you know from my previous post, Oma passed away last week and yesterday was her memorial. The service was beautiful and really highlighted what a woman of faith she was. Her dedication to my Opa, to her role as a woman of God, a wife, a mother, and our Oma. She was always busy caring for her house and garden, how she presented herself, for others, with an unfading joyful spirit.

She is in Heaven now, rejoicing in the presence of the Lord. Whole and complete, made perfect in Him. What a joy and hope for such a time as this! The Lord is so gracious to give us this comfort. Though I will miss her dearly, I can't wait to see her face again someday, and praise our Savior in perfection for all eternity. Praise Him, for He is great and has blessed us beyond what we could ever ask for or deserve!

Yesterday, there were tears. Today, there is hope for the future and joy in the memories of my beloved Oma.

Ik hou van je, Oma.

Last night, my Oma peacefully passed away.

She was the woman who fed my love for singing as I heard her continually humming or singing as she was cooking, cleaning, gardening, etc. She taught me to knit, the Dutch way. She loved her garden and it was always full of roses and other beautiful flowers, we would spend many afternoons out there enjoying the garden and laughing with each other over a cupje thee. She would always spoil us grandkids with snoepjes, oliebollen at Christmas, and other delicious Dutch treats. Above all these, she was a woman of great faith, and for that I will always look up to her.

Last night as we were sitting in the hospital, waiting for some paperwork and such, the whole family was just sitting, enjoying each others company, and reminiscing and laughing at some memories with Oma. And there was a moment where I thought, no one who walks by us right now would ever think we had just lost a loved one. And although all of us are sad and hurting, we all have hope and know without a doubt that she's in the presence of the Lord in heaven and she's praising and glorifying His matchless name. Absent in the flesh, but present with the Lord. And though she's no longer here, we know that we will see her again, when we are in heaven praising the Lord with her.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." - Lamentations 3:22-24

Ik hou van je, Oma.
(August 23, 1925-August 24, 2012)

Kijk 9

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--// So here I sit, in Portfolio coffee house down on 4^th street, looking up new topics for the Pilates X blog and whatnot and there must have been a change of shifts, because I suddenly feel like I’m in a deeply intense game show with the best announcer ever. Imagine this: super deep voice with just the right amount of drama and flair added to the words coming out of his mouth. Except he’s calling out drink combinations instead of scores or things the contestants are doing. Medium blended green tea. Tall nonfat peanut-butter mocha. Medium orange delight. Large Chai. Single red eye. And I am really enjoying listening, but it is also highly distracting!! Haha oh well, anyways, I guess I should fill you in about Pilates X!

--// Randomly one day a couple weeks ago, I walked into Pilates X which is right by my apartment. Since starting my job at California Therapy Solutions (which I will refer to as CTS from here on out), I've become more interested in learning more about pilates, so I wanted to get some info, see how much their classes were, etc. I ended up talking with the owner for about 20 min and we started talking a bit about my schooling and the internship I had last summer. She had just started a blog, but didn't really know where to go with it so when I told her that I did blog posts for the company I interned for, she gave me the opportunity of working with her on their blog!We've got a lot of great ideas and I can't wait to see where it goes! 

--// Work is great! I'm loving CTS and everyone there! I was really surprised at what a light-hearted and comfortable atmosphere there is. Everyone works hard and is ready and willing to help each other out! The therapist I'm paired with is really awesome and he's taught me a lot already! So far, we're working pretty well together, getting the system down and such. Having a super busy schedule right off the bat has kind of forced us to kick it in high gear, but it's going well! and I'm loving working there! 

--// The SF half is a month away! I can't believe it's so close! But I'm really excited to do it and double excited that I get to see Carissa because of it! :) and I think she's gonna dye my hair ;) 

--// The 4th of July is this week! Not sure what I'm doing yet, but I can't wait to celebrate!! 

--// I'm working on putting together a book of all my photos from studying abroad and it is making me miss being over there sooooo much! I'm gonna try and see if I can save up enough to go out there again before I start grad school... Hmmmm.

 ahhhh cardiff. take me back. <3

love, 

emily xx

Kijk 8

--// This girl is crazy blessed. Fact.

--// I was just given another awesome opportunity today! God is so cool! Can't wait to tell you more about it :)

--// Tomorrow is my last official day of training at California Therapy Solutions! Although technically I'm covering for someone else and I'm kind of on my own... but still can't believe I've been working there for 2 weeks now! Yay!

--// Looking forward to this weekend: cleaning/organizing, starting new things, bridal shower, checking out a new church... it's gonna be grand :)

Hope you all are having as wonderful a week as I am!!

love,
emily xx

Bethany: Graduation Shoot

Okay people, time for me to brag about my roommate: she is awesome. And that is an understatement. I have known her for a little more than three years now and we have shared countless memories together. She will be finishing up her degree in dance at CSULB in the fall! She is a crazy talented dancer and uses her dance to praise the Lord! How awesome is that?! I have loved sharing our college career together: refounding ADX, being roommates, and so much more! Well, none of this truly does her justice, hopefully these photos do a better job!

You are a beautiful soul, inside and out, roomie! Love you way more than you will ever know!

love,
emily xx